Possibilities and Progress
by Cosmonautsister
Summary: The Joker explains to Dr Crane what his life might be like, had he not recieved the scars. One-shot, rated for the genre, the characters and what all of that may or may not imply.


_It's kind of, uh, funny, but I've always wondered what I'd look like without the scars.__  
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__Hell. What would I act like, without the scars? __  
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__Would I still look so damn sexy with my makeup on? No... Would I even wear the makeup at all?__  
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__Let's be honest, boys and girls. Uh, Doc. If you're willing to look past my few... Character flaws, you'll see that ol' Mister J isn't all that bad.__  
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__Actually, I think I'm quite pretty.__  
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__Or at least I would be. I bet, if I didn't have these scars, the chicks would be all over me. Guys too, maybe. I hear I have quite a charming smile. But I'm not an idiot, you know, Doc. I'm aware that being a sociopathic mass-murderer isn't exactly a turn-on - not to most people, anyway.__  
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__What's that? If... If I wasn't?__  
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__Well, okay. Let's imagine the emotional scars were gone too, shall we? I'm not entirely delusional - I know I'd see things differently if I'd been given a bit more of a chance.__  
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__Jack Napier, ordinary citizen of Gotham City. Aint that a kick?__  
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__Imagine! Me, normal. Respectable job, nice house, lots of those, uh, polo shirts with the nice collars. Maybe I'd even have a family. I'd be... An accountant, maybe, and we'd have lots of money, and I'd drive a really cool car - well, a sort of cool car, like a... Well, I don't know much about cars. A... A blue one? And, uh, maybe I'd live in a nice neighbourhood. And I'd be friends with my neighbours, I could go over to their houses and borrow cups of sugar and stuff.__  
__I might be married, too, you know. And my wife, she'd be... She'd be really, uh...__  
__Okay, I'm just kidding. I'm... I'm actually gay.__  
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__No, Doc. Seriously. What, the purple coat didn't even make you think? I thought you shrinks were supposed to guess stuff like that!__  
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__What, did you think all psychopathic criminals were straight?!__  
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__And did you think it mattered? Fear doesn't discriminate, you know. I haven't even been kissed for years. Screwed, yes, but kissed, no. And don't think I don't know why. I understand these scars aren't exactly at the top of the list of turn-ons either. __  
__How different life would be if it had never happened. Well, by 'it', I mean... I don't actually remember what happened. I guess I lied about it so much that I fooled myself.__  
__Kissing? Wow, I... I guess I don't remember too much of that either. Suppose whoever I was with wasn't that memorable.__  
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__I think I'd enjoy a bit of a smooch right now, you know. I think I really would. I've even left my makeup off, so it wouldn't smudge...__  
__Oh, come on, Doc! We can play pretend - I'll be Jack Napier, ordinary citizen of Gotham, and you can be... Uh, someone I know.__  
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__Sorry Doc, you're right; this wasn't what I was supposed to be talking about.__  
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__Yes, I understand I made you a little... Uncomfortable, then. I didn't mean to.__  
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__What do you mean, I just winked?__  
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__Ah, now, don't think I don't know what you're thinking. _'Not only is he an insane, sociopathic killer clown, he just had to be gay as well...'  
_You're nervous, Doc, I can tell. Maybe even scared. But you're not the one in the straitjacket, remember. You have no reason to be worried, but you are anyway. I have that effect on people, you see, Doc. It's the scars, I think._

_So, what would I be like if I didn't have them?__  
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_Well, I might not be here. I might have a job as a lawyer, or an English teacher. I might still talk to my family. I might have a lot of friends. _  
_I might be kissing you._  
_You never know, Doc -__  
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At that moment, Dr Jonathan Crane leant foward and placed a big, meaningful kiss on Jack 'The Joker' Napier's scarred mouth. Jack was suitably shocked, but shock never stopped that warm, fuzzy feeling from spreading right through every bone in his body.

This, the Joker thought, as he closed his eyes finally and let himself accept the kiss, was something to _really_ smile about.

'I'll see if I can get you out of that straitjacket next time.' Crane said as he moved away.  
The Joker blinked. '... Next time?' He whispered, then remembered he wasn't supposed to be shocked by ANYTHING. 'Wow, do I sense an innuendo there, Doc?'

Jonathan gently put his hands on the Joker's face - one on each scar - and smiled, less creepily than usual. His blue eyes seemed to soften somehow as he stared into the other man's hazel ones. 'You know... I don't think there's anything wrong with you.' He paused, then stroked one of the Joker's scars with his fingers. 'Jack.'

There came a sudden knock on the door. Startled, Jonathan moved back, just as a hurried-looking nurse rushed into the room.  
Jonathan stood up briskly and smoothed imaginary wrinkles out of his white coat. 'Hello, Jean.'

The nurse looked concernedly at the Joker, before turning to Jonathan. 'Have you made any progress, doctor?'

'Oh yes.' Jonathan said, with a quick and knowing glance at the Joker. 'I believe I have.'


End file.
